I was about to become a Jesuit in 1985, but then I did not. It seemed not the right thing for me to do at that time; the order supported its member's personal development and intelligence at a cost to their social skills and intelligence. I felt it would be more beneficial for me to improve my social abilities than to reinforce the idiosyncrasies and quirkiness of a premature high-schooler.
It turned out to be the right decision, and instead of becoming a highly supported individualist I became a highly educated, politically-engaged artist. Religion did not play that big a role in my life. But that changed through the arts, as my artistic practice began to draw from the resources of my childhood upbringing.
While religion returned to be a topic in my life, the public stance towards religion changed; religious beliefs after 9/11 became a major signifier in defining cultural differences very much to my dismay. My observation might admittely be specific to the country where I reside the United States where I find many great achievements of secularism, such as the segregation between church and state, slowly taken back by increasing fundamentalism.
Secularism, though, is a major achievement that protects societies from unnecessary heat since religious beliefs unfold an ability to incense quickly when they become societal. Selfportrait with Jesus reflects my take on religion as I see it today. If anything, religion should serve as a source of intrapersonal resilience and stability, reaching out vertically rather than horizontally, fostering spiritual growth rather than societal uproar.
Depicting myself in a 360 degree rotation with Jesus hanging from the cross shows doubtlessly some signs of tragic, but as the world is depicted upside down, there might be humor, too. The video track is dubbed with a field recording from the main post office in Manhattan (by opodo.org); I thought the busyness of hectic customers makes up with the self-indulgence of contemplation.
